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Self Confidence

     The world we live in today is different than when I was growing up.  Some parts of our lives remain as it was years ago, not much of it still exists.  What makes the difference is social media and 24 hour news cycle.  Everything is amplified.  When I was a young child I was extremely shy.  I had a hard time talking to anyone that I did not know and simply would not speak unless spoken too.  I have been told that I "might" have grown out of that phase, not sure I believe those people.

     There are times when people are quiet and don't say anything in different situations.  This can be because they are shy or simply have nothing to add to the conversation.  Even as an adult I find situations when I do not want to add comments to a situation.  I simply want to observe the people and their interactions.

     Growing up being on the shy side allows individuals to really learn about people.  Understand their behaviors, actions and even see where situations might lead. This is a great quality to have and comes in handy.  The crazy thing about sitting back and keeping your mouth shut, if you pay attention, you can actually learn in the process.  It could be a trade, or an added skill to your already established skill set. People are not born to be great cattle fitters or even great theorist.  You grow when you watch others practice their craft, read about it and apply it for yourself.  You have to practice, fail and even ask for assistance.  These principles can be applied to many aspects of life.

     I was the kid that would just sit back and watch every situation.  I would not get involved unless asked and would not always offer an opinion or answer without knowing it was correct.  What this allowed me to do is hopefully be a better judge of people.  I hope it allows me to evaluate animals or give advice that is based on sound practices and information.

     When it comes to work life I try to apply these same principles.  Sit back and listen and formulate your own opinion.  Ask questions when needed and then hopefully come up with the best plan.  This has been beneficial to me for most of my adult career.

     I have worked for 3 different major corporations and a few smaller companies.  There is one common theme in all of those jobs.  People, both men and women, are petty, childish and act like they are in school.  It is almost like they have to continue to be the popular kids in school or work to be the popular kids.  So everyone follows each other, telling tales and whispering.  It can get nauseating to watch.  I see it every day and have at almost every job I have ever held.

     For the record, I tend to be the person that will talk and get along with most any group.   I have no reason to be mean or not speak to people.  Even if I do not like a person, that is not reason to not treat them as human.  Respect is something totally different than just treating someone like a human.  Hello and how are you are common courtesies that belong in the work place.  If we are outside of work I will still exchange pleasantries, I will not however interact with people unless needed to get a job done.  This is what is called being an adult.

     Our time should be spent doing what we want to do each day.  It should be spent doing what is right and what leads us to a better life.  When we find ourselves under attach by someone or even the brunt end of someones harsh comments.  There is no harm and taking a minute to self reflect and say, what did I do or what is the reason for this happening? This does not mean it is our fault. It means that you are secure enough in your own self that we can accept responsibility when it is deserved.

     Some may see this as just rambling, I promise to bring it to a point.   When we have true self confidence in ourselves, we do not worry about what others think of us or even say about us.  When we have self confidence we spend our time trying to do better for our futures and to better those in our lives.  It simply amazes me that when I see so many people at an age much more advanced than me lack that self confidence.

     I am not saying that I never have moments of doubt.  We are human and that is going to be part of our nature.  What I hope for and strive for each day to be a better person.  Get a little farther ahead in life.  Hopefully make a better life for me and my loved ones.  What I hope for is the patience to think rationally, solve problems and get my job done.

     Maybe we all need to think about that as we go through our days.  I love to ask the question, "What does this have to do with work?"  I also like to ask, "Why do you even care?"  The typical response is, "Oh well I don't, I was just saying."  If we don't repeat the words that others say, it gains no traction.  We shouldn't allow others to take up space in our heart and minds that do not belong.

     There is one quality I find in people that are successful.  They don't care what others think of them, they don't care about being politically correct, they care about being the best and getting ahead.  Hard work pays off every time. Most of the people I know who have had great success are not rule breakers.  They are ground breakers.  They see opportunities and make their own path.

     Self confidence is a trait that is great to see and hard to come by in today's society.  For me, it is not about how many tattoos, piercings or body modifications you have that is self confidence.  It is not about the flashy clothes or fancy cars.  Self confidence is how you carry yourself.  How you treat others and the actions you take in every day life.  Self confident people do not put down others, they lift them up.  It's not about giving them everything, it's about providing them with the same tools they had for success.   The neat part about successful people is they come in all different shapes, sizes and colors.  You cannot pin a race or specific look to success and self confidence.  It is something that is inside of everyone, you just have to start believing in yourself.

One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation. ~ Arthur Ashe    

   

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